I am officially there. The double digit long runs have begun and the side effects are constant reminders that I need to care for my body throughout this training. If the daily soreness in my muscles are not enough to remind me, my voracious appetite is. My most recent accomplishment included a brunch at 12pm complete with oatmeal, omelet and toast, followed by a burger at Food Dance in Kalamazoo, MI at 2pm. And you better believe I turned around and ate dinner 4 hours later. Life's too good not to indulge and I can justify it - for now!
I've run up to these lengths before when training for a half-marathon, but for some reason, in relation to 26.2 miles, 12 mile training runs take on a new meaning. With the half-marathons, I could gleefully think "Oh man! I did 12 today. Only 1 more mile and I'll have completed that race". Now I have to pinch myself and remember "Right. 12 is good. 12 is great, in fact. But it's not even half of what you're going to need to do come May 8th". It's in these moments of realization that I have to tell myself to slow down, take it one run at a time, and remember that this was a choice I made. I find myself doing this in life with far more than just my running. My academic pursuits are time consuming and anxiety provoking and often lead me to moments of intense fear. I'm going to give away my mid-western roots and use the phrase - making a mountain out a mole hole and openly acknowledge that I do this more than I care to admit. For example, the knee pain I feel half-way into a long run sends my brain into a momentary tail spin. My immediate reaction is to create an imaginary catastrophe where, like the scene in Black Swan, my knees break, my legs bend backwards, and my self-imposed running "career" is through. ASIDE: I am not disturbed, I promise! This hallucination has never taken place, I'm just using extremes for comparison's sake.....maybe... :)
But these moments of worry are what make running so fantastic. As a largely solitary sport (of course you can be on a team, but ultimately, it's your legs that have to cross that finish line), you have to mentally battle your ever insecurity, be it physical or emotional, and keep putting the one foot in front of the other. Perhaps your run is only inspirational to you, and perhaps finishing it is only something you will celebrate with a burger and a beer, or a massage and an ice bath, but it is worth every step nonetheless.
So here's to the 15 miler I face this coming weekend and the 20 miler a few weeks down the road. Here's to every personal battle won and every inspiration acknowledged. I have many friends who are running this marathon with me, and when I hear them say they're excited, I remind myself that I am too. Then I picture the finish line and that's all I need. There's a distinct way in which running puts your mind in-tune with your body and your body with your mind. So every time those sneaky self-doubts emerge, I turn to that connection and (hopefully) keep going. Picturing that juicy burger and carb-laden beer doesn't hurt either!
Thank you again to all of you for your support and generosity!
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**Donate here and write "Laura's Marathon" in the "notes" section. AND THANKS!
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